This is a bonafide bitchfest.

I hate the rain.  I hate the cold. I hate not being able to go outside on a 5 mile stroller walk everyday b/c of the fuggin’ weather.

The babies are adorable but they’re screwing up my sex life.  They don’t like to go to bed and start screaming when mommy and daddy get freaky.  I’m not having sex everyday.  I’m not orgasming everyday.  3-4 times a week is NOT cool.  I don’t know how to remedy this situation.

My vagina sucks.  I haven’t had time to pluck.  I can’t tend to my pussy b/c the girls are so damn needy and clingy.  All I want is a few hours to myself where I can pluck every individual hair off the va-ja-ja. My bush is out of control…

I don’t remember the last time I was able to finish a novel!  I miss reading.  I miss going out on the town.  I miss life pre-babies.

Damnit, I need my mom so that MPS and I have a night off from parenting.

And I miss Los Angeles, desperately.  I may have seasonal affective disorder.  *Sigh*  I hate Prozac — it’s so hard for me to cum while on Prozac due to delayed orgasm (a side effect of the drug).

***Aren’t I a stupid bitch?  If some chick who is doing IVF reads my blog she is going to want to punch me really hard in the ovaries.